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Joke of the Day

"Hey Reddit, what are your favorite lame jokes? ""Wanna hear a pizza joke?"" ""Nevermind, it's too cheesy."""

"2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!"

"A man like me is hard to find. I trim maze hedges."

"When my kids misbehave we watch 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids' and then I make them stand in a giant Petri dish while I set up the machine."

"I've just joined a Jamaican jazz band as a triangle player. I just stand at the back and ting."

"[Clean] You can tell that someone is not from an English speaking country if... ...if their phone's personal dictionary is full of people's names."

"Pfft. Of course I know pound town has nothing to do with pound cake. Everyone knows that. *slides fork into back pocket, fights back tears*"

"Don't trust atoms. They make up everything."

"Everybody says Australians are rednecks learn already... **...it's actually from latin word Australis which means Southern...** *Oops*"

"A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm... and says ""Pint please, and one for the road."""