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Joke of the Day

"For date night tonight I'm taking my wife out for a nice dinner at the Sam's Club sample tables."

"I've decided to go on the ""England World Cup Diet"" It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads! (England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)"

"A football player... A football player was convicted of a crime and sent to prison for several years. He went in as a tight end and left as a wide receiver."

"Why doesn't George R.R Martin use Twitter? Because he killed off all 140 characters."

"You know what they say about hungry hippos... It was modeled after a date with OP's mom."

"11% of my life has been spent watching things load 12%"

"Why are Italians so good at football? Because it involves changing sides halfway through."

"How Do You Get an Elephant Out of the Fairway? You take the F out of Fair and the F out of Way"

"I'm reading a book about poltergeists. It's a real page turner."

"Why did the farmer screw their sheep on a cliff? They push back harder. (Told to me by my NZ step father about Australians, of course.)"