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Joke of the Day

"Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour? Operator: No but if you hum a few bars I might be able to sing along with you."

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"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool..."
"[runs up to a group of people] ME: ZACK ATTACK GUY: lol is your name zack or [thousands of bros crest a nearby hill] ME: [whispering] RUN"
"Putin persecutes homosexuals in his own country... ...then goes and enters another country through the back door? Very mixed messages from Russia."
"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"
"I once poured an entire bag of potato chips on my girlfriend. I wanted to ruffle her feathers."
"To everybody whose birthday is today. I am sorry that your birthday was not yesterday, otherwise you would have had a puny birthday."
"If an elephant and a rhino have a baby, what do they make? Elephino! (Hell if I know)"
"A man goes to a halloween party wearing nothing but his pants The host asks, "" Hey, what the fuck are you supposed to be?"" The man replies, ""I am a premature ejaculation"""
"For my photography project, I took my camera to a strip club Everyone in my photos came out a little over-exposed."