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Joke of the Day

"A creationist puts his glases on and says: ""Evolution can't be real, just look at the human eye!! It's too perfect to be just chance!"""

"4 y.o: I used the potty. Can I have a treat? Me: No. You always go in the potty 4: I can stop Me: Apparently I negotiate with terrorists"

"Bought some shoes from my drug dealer Pretty shitty ones though, he's a drug dealer, not a shoe salesman."

"My own personal hell sounds great, actually"

"What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer nuts are $1.29 a bag. Deer nuts are just under a buck."

"What do Little Miss Muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have Kurds in their way."

"every time i read ROFL I hear scooby doo trying to say waffle"

"What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table"

"[OC] How does captain hook cook pita bread? With a pita pan."

"I used to be addicted to soap, but i'm clean now."