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Joke of the Day

"[OC] How does captain hook cook pita bread? With a pita pan."

"Yess ocifer b-b-but in dog beers I've only had two."

"Boss: ""Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life""!! Me: ""Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011 Boss: ""Really""? Me: ""No"""

"The groundhog in our town died on Sunday. I can't imagine how long our winter will be now."

"You know why some people simply don't have a butt? Because they are on a gluten free diet."

"June was sore. She scolded Ward Cleaver. ""You were awfully hard on the Beaver last night Ward!!"""

"Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette"

"Welcome to AlzheimersAware.co.uk. Forgot your password? Of course you did."

"NSFW Hey girl, are you a doctor? I need to speak to one because you've given me an erection that's lasted longer than 4 hours."

"Twitter is the only place where black people can follow me,and not get nervous about it"