190146

Joke of the Day

"The first rule of tautology club ... is the first rule of tautology club"

"Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech? It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine."

"A man and his son are sitting, naked, on a couch... ... and the little boy asks, ""Dad why are our penises different?"" The father replies, ""Firstly, son, you don't have an erection."""

"Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo? It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree."

"If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant what is on the outside? K 9 P"

"Howdeepisthepool? He had too much to drink before he went swimming!"

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? More than ten because my basement is still dark."

"My wife does this cute thing. She sets her alarm clock an hour before she has to get up and then hits snooze 27 times. It's so adorable."

"The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend"

"Wife: Why the hell did you buy a buffalo? Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it."