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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a new Thesaurus... it's quite good, but to be honest it's nothing to write residence about"

"My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end. The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed kicking children."

"A CHICKEN AND AN EGG A chicken and an egg walked into a hotel room. 20 minutes later the chicken came out smoking a cigarette and said, ""Well, I guess that solves that question."""

"Take me with you! I shout to every airplane that flies over my house."

"What's that? ""It's my pet rock."" Why does it look sad? DWAYNE JOHNSON: I'm hungry."

"Get it? http://imgur.com/AIhM5"

"Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing I'm drowning worms."

"Why do French people eat no more than 1 egg per meal? Because one is un uf."

"What is he only Jewish bird in the entire bird kingdom? The segal"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey."