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Joke of the Day

"What do good dragons read when they are pregnant? How to Train Your Dragon. Good parenting, that is."

"[bank] Robber: EVERYONE GET DOWN! Me: [crying] my wife left & my kids think I'm a joke Robber: No I mean- Robber2: Wait! Let him finish"

"Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it..."

"Why did Ellen Pao try to sue the users of Reddit for gender discrimination/ sexual harassment? Because they were forming a massive circle-jerk around her"

"Why did the biscuit cry? His mum had been a wafer too long."

"Why do nuns hate laundry day? They always fall back on old habits."

"What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy? ""Make me one with everything."""

"If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range."

"a man comes into a bar... or was it a horse? yeah i think it was a horse. so a man comes into a horse...."

"Why did the hipster chemist get burnt? He touched the beaker before it was cool."