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Joke of the Day

"When I get old I'm going to trace every wrinkle on my body with a black pen, hide in kids closets, and pretend I'm a cracked porcelain doll."

"What's the capital of Greece? The G"

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone. Then it dawned on me."

" I am under the influence. I am above the influence. I AM THE INFLUENCE."""

"what is an pirates fav element potassium because pirate doesnt want scurvy. it not argon k?"

"What do you call a wolf that is cautious? An aware wolf."

"Your mama is sooooo. . . fat. Then when she comes over she blocks the Wi-fi signal."

"If you are standing with one foot in France and one in Germany taking a piss, what are you? European"

"Drugs are a crazy thing What did jerry Garcia say to Bob weir when they ran out of drugs? Man this music sucks!"

"What do you call a gay satanist? Sack-Religious"