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Joke of the Day

"If you are standing with one foot in France and one in Germany taking a piss, what are you? European"

"When I move, I don't pack my belongings. Because I live my life outside of the box."

"What's the difference between a potato and a vegetable...? Not knowing how to use a coathanger..."

"What happened when Bluto went to Mount Olive? Popeye got pissed"

"Never seek the dead for guidance. They give really cryptic advice..."

"So a rapist, pedphile and a priest walk into a bar... He orders a beer"

"I was standing at a urinal taking a leak when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox...bad day to wear sandals."

"Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve."

"Please, keep trying unsuccessfully to suck the snot back up in your nose instead of using a tissue. Everyone loves the noise you're making."

"What was the oak's favorite subject? Chemistree."