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Joke of the Day

"The more ""normal"" you try to be, the less interesting people like myself will find you."

"What do you call a Mexican Baptism? Bean dip."

"I accidentally pooped my pants during a 5 hour long company meeting today. It was super embarassing, but a man's gotta doo when a man's gotta doo."

"Asians are bad drivers cuz they're used to riding pandas while eating rice is that racist enough for you dad I'm sorry I wasn't in the war"

"What does Batman do with all his spare money? He makes it wayne"

"My stomach just made a really weird noise. So I'm just going to send a pizza down to check it out."

"Children in the back seat cause accidents... ...accidents in the back seat cause children."

"I like to yell ""Aloha, Captain Future!"" when I see someone using an iPad in public."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R! Aaaarrrgghhhh! You'd think it'd be R but it's the C, matey!"

"I have a weird fungal infection on my foot... I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me."