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Joke of the Day
"You can run but you can't hide Is a funny thing to say to children with asthma"
Next Joke
"I'm interested to find out what the police have Oscar Pistorius's height listed as."
"What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! ""Oh no!"" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa"
"Me: Bless me father for I have sinned... Priest texting me back: I already told you, I'm not absolving u of your sins unless you come in."
"Kinda cool how Earth is the largest planet in the whole world."
"I was trying to help my family overcome their drug habits... ...but it got too *meth*-y. Ill just let them *weed* themselves out."
"Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly? Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio than on TV."
"It can not get any worser. So I thought but as it seems I have really weak imagination."
"What's the difference between an Irish guy dying in a play, and you getting laid? One's a tragic Mick..."
"Husband: [sends text] We need to break up. Wife: [sends text] WTF! Husband: [sends text] Sorry. That was meant to go to someone else."