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Joke of the Day

"My mom once asked if Jack Frost was based on a true story. Jack Frost is a movie where a father dies and returns as a snowman."

"So far 42 out of 43 presidents actually ran for office. FDR just kind of rolled himself in there."

"Sometimes I forget I'm from Florida and then I remember when I was 9, my dad had me drive the golf cart so he could get drunk on the course."

"(Showing off new car) Father-in-law: Looks good, what engine has it got? Me: *ultra confident* a grey & black one"

"Coworker: What a crazy weekend! Me: *takes a knee* CW: What are you doing? M: Protesting this conversation."

"Is it appropriate for a receptionist at a sperm clinic to tell their clients ""thanks for coming"" as they leave?"

"My oldest approached me today, and told me he was feeling suicidal. I said, ""Hang in there, son,"" and pointed to the spare room."

"FRIENDSHIP TIP: stick your head under the bathroom stalls and introduce yourself! You never know where you'll find your soulmate"

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex... ...but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."

"How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it."