22831

Joke of the Day

"Is that dress white and gold or black and blue? Either way, it's refressing seeing a debate about color in America that wasn't started by a cop killing someone. @NatBaimel"

"""But mom! I don't like grandma."" ""Keep quiet, son, and finish your plate."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to Hungary."

"If you spend ""up to $9000"" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by."

"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it"

"Why are politicians assholes so clean? Because all their shit comes out of their mouth!"

"Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay."

"I'm so glad they released a patch for my car The windshield was starting to get buggy."

"I like my slave like I like my frees Coffee."

"I don't understand ads on p0rn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like ""woah! that's the new detergent?"""