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Joke of the Day

"Is that dress white and gold or black and blue? Either way, it's refressing seeing a debate about color in America that wasn't started by a cop killing someone. @NatBaimel"

"""i wouldnt be caught dead"" someone throws a net over my dead corpse ""gotcha!!"" ""noooo"""

"Did you hear about the King who got killed during a torrential downpour, and his only heirs were pets? It's been reigning cats and dogs ever since"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are running for president... Well, look on the bright side, Dick Cheney is not president."

"""Sorry we're late. We had to stop so I could pee."" ""For two hours?!"" ""Yeah. It came out really slow."""

"A bear and a rabbit are both taking a shit in the woods The bear says, ""Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit: ""No, not at all."" So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit."

"I can accomplish great things if I apply myself... At least that's what a high school guidance counselor with a shit job and a bottle of whiskey in his desk told me once."

"If twitter isn't a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it."

"Dogs have non-traditional family structures... because they have four Pa's."

"I would tell a chemistry joke.. But all the good ones Argon"