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Joke of the Day

"When someone says ""The last thing I'd want to do is hurt you"", I'm wondering why they have a list of things to do that includes hurting me."

"""I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

"I am still paying... A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."""

"Two crows walk into a bar. Before they can order their first drink, they get arrested for attempted murder."

"Listen mate, the only rapture I'm interested in was sung by Debbie Harry"

"At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alison ! Alison who ? Alison to my radio in the mornings !"

"What did the Buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? Bison."

"Remember, one person can make a difference! Two people can NOT, though. 3-5: yes again! 6: no way, you'll just make it worse! It's weird!"

"I'm giving up drinking. ... Hard liquor. ... On Wednesdays."