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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alison ! Alison who ? Alison to my radio in the mornings !"

"Cable guy's here. I plan on yelling ""DON'T MAKE ME HIT YOU IN FRONT OF HIM!"" to my girlfriend before he leaves."

"""Why don't you have kids yet?"" is a great question, ma'am, but I'm saving that conversation for the right total stranger at this gym."

"'Nothing like a real book' I say 'The scent, pages between my fingers- cracking the spine!' My tree girlfriend's parents sway uncomfortably"

"Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker ""Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."""

"If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed... Try crystal meth, it really is a miracle drug. *disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected."

"Two Russian kgb operatives are also in a tank One turns to the other and says ""gurgle gurgle"" and they both drown..."

"Why did Princess Leia spit and not swallow? Because it was Chewy"

"This is the story of a man named Jack. Jack was, well lets just say he was a repairman. One day while repairing the shingles on a rooftop, Jack got stuck. Will you help Jack off?"

"Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, ""Use the forks, Luke."""