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Joke of the Day

"I imagine the hardest part of becoming a supervillain is getting your doctorate."

"Dead Babies I hate it when I'm driving out of my garage and my next door neighbour's son stands on my way and I run over him by accident and I have to bury him in my backyard. #FuckGrammar"

"I once had sex with a mermaid I am pretty sure at least. It was dark and she smelled fishy down there."

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times."

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around."

"My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday."

"Who was the stretchiest man in The Bible? Abraham. He tied his ass to a tree and walked up a mountain."

"Sausage and bacon in a frying pan. Sausage says to the bacon: ""It's pretty hot here."" Bacon says: ""Oh my god! A talking sausage !!"""

"Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank? Because she was drinking on the job."

"I used to make arrow in the knee jokes... ..."