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Joke of the Day

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."

"What does a two-headed cat say?? Weow!"

"I told my girlfriend I've known 3 whores in my life. The first one was named mercedes, the second one porsche, your name must be buick!"

"I like my coffee how I like my women... imported"

"Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today. . Cook: There is. Fred: No there isn't. There's only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it."

"My Butt giving the day off to employees on Thanksgiving.. **PSYCHE** Probably gonna take a huge dump instead."

"Mom. Dad. I like my coffee like I like my women. I don't like coffee. I'm gay."

"This hammock is the most relaxing thing I've ever had slingshot me point blank into the ground."

"What kind of birds stick together? Vel-crows"

"I'm deeply in love with you. But hard deeply, like demented. Kind of sick if you know what I mean. I will most probably end up carving you up. Want a coffee?"