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Joke of the Day

"I once had sex with a mermaid I am pretty sure at least. It was dark and she smelled fishy down there."

"What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ? Cross mouse cards !"

"What's the hardest thing about rollerblading ?? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Why did the raisin go out with a prune? He couldn't get a date!"

"[couples therapy] HER: He's always talking down to me ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen"

"Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day. Note to self, stop saying that pickup lines to the girls in wheelchairs."

"I like my women how I like my bicycles, chained up in the garage."

"Why do black people not go on cruises? They won't fall for that one again."

"Now that oil is so cheap, we should start drilling for black printer ink."

"Dogs lick each other's butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians"