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Joke of the Day

"I have a condition preventing my going on a successful diet. There's a medical term for it, but in plain language, it's hunger."

"My grandmother is like a fine wine that grows more racist with every year."

"What concert ticket costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback"

"If you walk into the bathroom an American and walk out an American, what are you in the bathroom? European."

"How much does a rabbi charge for a circumcision? Nothing, he just keeps the tips."

"Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time."

"What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z? Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!"

"Troll: Horrible thing. Me: Horrible thing back. Troll: I was just giving my honest opinion. Me: Me too. Troll: But..."

"Last month, I asked my dad if I could get a tattoo. He told me to get it somewhere that didn't matter, so I got it done in Oklahoma."

"Whay does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed."