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Joke of the Day

"Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. Just ask my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy."

"New frightening study released statistic that as much as 25% of Women are diagnosed clinically insane Especially frightening because that means there is 75% walking around undiagnosed"

"Freddie Mercury: ""Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?"" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: ""Perfect!"" *snorts another line of coke*"

"So my daughters friend came over the other day and they played house together Now I have $50k in medical bills and she thinks she has Lupus."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? Most say the letter 'R' But a pirates first love is the mighty 'C' By the mighty 'C' I mean the clitoris YARRRRHHHHHhhh....."

"I think there's a better word for underwear... ... Butt hat's none of my business."

"I have an EpiPen A man lying on the roadside gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree"

"The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris."

"Whisky won't fix your problems... But it's worth a shot!"