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Joke of the Day

"*Knock Knock* ""Who's there?"" ""David"" ""David who?"" ""Dad you only have one son named David, please let me out of the basement now."""

"A psychiatrist diagnosed me with kleptomania. Now I'm taking things for it."

"What instrument do you play Beside blowing dick?"

"I've found that jogging is much more fun when you never do it."

"My dog is either dreaming or can't quite figure out how to shape shift."

"*montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's... right here?"

"The sign at the McDonald's I just passed says ""We hiring"" in case you're wondering what kind of qualifications you need to have to be hired."

"Children Are Hereditary Children are hereditary... if your parents were not able to have any children, chances are you won't be able to either."

"iPhone changed miles to milf's but the good news is my dad thinks I only have 177 left to go until I'm done."

"Honestly some folk will take offense at anything. I met a bloke with no legs this morning at the Bus Stop. All I asked was ""How you getting on?"""