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Joke of the Day
"A psychiatrist diagnosed me with kleptomania. Now I'm taking things for it."
Next Joke
"How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize? It was out standing in its field!"
"How do you give a blonde two black eyes and a broken nose without touching her by waving your cock under a glass table"
"So today I found out I have Alzheimer's disease... But on the bright side, at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease."
"Girlfriend just called me by my full given name.This is gonna end poorly."
"78% of black men like sex in the shower The other 22% haven't been to prison yet"
"DAD: Your mother and I love you very much, and I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... you're adopted. DOG: OMG THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE"
"What did the sign on the whorehouse say? Beat it, we're closed."
"Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food? It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity"
"I grew up in a rough part of town... The local youths used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then put a cherry on my head. Life was tough in the gateau."