227846

Joke of the Day

"A termite walks into a bar... ...and asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"What do you call the space between a Mormon's butthole and balls? a Latter-day taint!"

"How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm? Look for the Fresh Prince."

"My girl broke up with me, thinks I am childish. So, I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house. Rang the doorbell and ran away..HA!"

"I just called up the phone company and put em on hold. Every 5min I come on an tell them how important their business is to me. Please hold."

"During an appointment, a doctor tells his patient, ""You have got to stop masturbating!"" The patient gets concerned and asks, ""Why? Is it affecting my health?"" ""No! I'm just trying to examine you!"""

"How do you get a French girl pregnant? Cum in her shoe and let the flies do the rest."

"My wife's celebrity ""free pass"" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade."

"While commemorating my father's various physical feats, one friend asked if he was ""shredded"". He was cremated. :("

"H: Well, the remote was definitely broken, so I went and bought a new one. Me: H: Oh, and it came with this 75"" television."