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Joke of the Day

"My girl broke up with me, thinks I am childish. So, I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house. Rang the doorbell and ran away..HA!"

"I got a call at work telling me my daughter missed period number 3. When I woke up in the ambulance it turns out it was the school calling."

"I mainly want to lose weight to get into my own pants But also to get into someone elses"

"Kids are like bears. If you play dead eventually they'll leave you alone."

"What does trail mix have in common with a nursing home? They're both filled with nuts"

"The difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"How do angels greet each other? They say Halo."

"What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas? Very hungry."

"What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate? I find it a tad one-sided."

"How do people usually feel after touching an electric fence? Shocked."