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Joke of the Day

"My wife's celebrity ""free pass"" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade."

"I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5 It was a pi rated DVD"

"I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work."

"I have a horse named mayo... Mayo neighs."

"Damn girl, did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like your face hit the ground first."

"Told my wife that the doctor thinks I have irritable vowel syndrome. She said, ""I think you mean 'bowel'."" I said, ""Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."""

"I saw an old French prostitute last night, what's her name? Toulouse."

"Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped."

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and balls of steel? Sparky"

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud."