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Joke of the Day

"They say the hottest person in a party never gets hit on cus people are intimidated. I'm just going to assume that's why I never get hit on."

"What do you call a techno-themed grocery store? Gigi D'Agostino"

"I found Zoloft delays my orgasm Ey, Jack, you late."

"Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him."

"I respect you, liquor store shopping cart user."

"When your bio says ""No DMs,"" I wanna DM you SO BAD and just say: ""OK."""

"Has anyone else's world ended yet? Mayan hasn't."

"What do you call a poo which still remains after flushing? An **UFO** - **U**nflushable **F**loating **O**bject"

"Kanye West hospitalised in Los Angeles. At this difficult time, our thoughts and prayers go out to... ...all the hospital staff."

"You know how Kim Kardashian thought her butt would ""break the Internet""? I know what would really break the Internet... Nickelback should sing about Comic Sans."