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Joke of the Day

"What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink? 1%"

"The Great Wall of America... ...is gonna be made in China."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"What do you call a dog underwater? A sub woofer."

"Why don't witches like The Keg? Because it's always burned at the stake"

"Mall cop wasn't going to let me park in the handicapped space. Then I showed him pictures of me dancing."

"I hate when I accidentally say ""I love you"" instead of ""I'm biologically driven to want to reproduce with you & I'm temporarily delusional"""

"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees ? they are really good at it"

"There should be a specific type of doctor for being on call. They'd be called cancer-ogists ^because^cancer^doctors^are^oncologists"

"My dad drove in a pothole and his tire popped, this is how it went Badum-tsss"