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Joke of the Day

"What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest? Na 'ma ste"

"Waiter: How did you find your steak sir? Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!"

"Why are mimes such good rapists? The D is silent. <i just thought of this! be gentle with me>"

"The school called me on the phone today and said, ""Your son has been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good! I don't have no kids!"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair Virgin mobile"

"Where do ants keep their armies? in their sleevies"

"I went to the funeral of the man who invented the throat lozenge. There was no coffin."

"Why even ask how my weekend was if you're just going to interrupt me halfway through to say, ""Yeah, I saw your Facebook post."""

"Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today."

"Why didn't galactus consume the milky way? He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry."