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Joke of the Day

"The second rule of tautology club... is that the first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club."

"I wonder what the chimpanzee who will one day feast on your eyes and fingers is doing today."

"How do you blind an Asian? Put a windshield in front of them."

"What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum."

"How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"I'd tell a chemestry joke but I'm afraid I wouldn't get a reaction."

"""911? Yes I need to report an incident"" ""What is it mam?"" ""THIS. GIRL. IS. ON. FIRE!"" ""Getting real tired of this crap, Alicia."""

"I can never tell the difference between your/you're/Asians"

"I used to be terrible at Valentines' Day too... But then I took an arrow in the knee."

"I lose my white friends in the snow and I lose my Asian friends in the sand. Where do I lose my Arab friends? I don't have any Arab friends, so it doesn't matter."