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Joke of the Day

"Your mother is so fat.. ..when she wears high heels she strikes oil"

"Did you know princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box."

"Media, stop using the phrase 'breaking news'. It's been broken for some time now."

"When you're a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you're an adult and you have an accident you have a kid."

"My 40 time Is about 4.2 gulps"

"Just remember that whatever you put up with, you end up with."

"Looked at changing my name to Bieber so I could get RT'd. Realized I can't b/c I have a penis."

"I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one."

"If Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway."

"What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven? If you guessed ""Heaven nun"" or ""Angel nun"" you're wrong. The answer was ""Nun of the Above""."