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Joke of the Day

"I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849."

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG"

"Heard about the baby seal who walked into a club? ba doom doom cha!"

"This bar smells so bad and I can't tell who's homeless and who's a hipster."

"I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn't think."

"Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it."

"I met a girl who said she wanted to be a mortician... ""Yeah!"" she exclaimed, ""The job market for morticians is really great right now, despite what people say about it being a dying career."""

"They should make realistic pregnancy test commercials. 2 best friends in a bathroom praying for a neg & celebrating w a shot & a happy dance"

"Last week I called a lady a watering hole... but I meant well."

"cried at the dentist today but at least they thought it was because of them"