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Joke of the Day

"Why don't we ever go 'forth and back'? To go forth and multiply is more fun."

"Why was the redneck on his Iphone at his sister's funeral...? He was changing his relationship status to single. Dahurpy durp Dahurpy Durp Da dUrpy durp."

"What do you call it when you jerk off in the bath? Mastubation"

"I think what I despise the most about blind people is knowing they'll get rid of that dog as soon as they start to see."

"Why did the Hawaiian Hipster burn to death? He walked on lava before it was cool."

"Are you afraid of quantum mechanics ? Dont worry, it's gonna be Feynman."

"""So, how's life in North Korea?"" ""Well, I can't complain!"""

"I asked my German friend how many jews there are in Germany today He replied: I don't know, do you want me to gas? (This is conversation actually took place like an hour ago)"

"The best time to eat candy Is when she doesn't have her period."

"Why wasn't the Canadian scared at the movie theater? He knew Nunavut was real."