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Joke of the Day

"I think what I despise the most about blind people is knowing they'll get rid of that dog as soon as they start to see."

"I like my women like I like my golf scores In the 80s, with a slight handicap"

"I had a dream That the most beautiful plate of salmon with lemon zest and crusted parmesan was in front and before I could dig in I woke and saw it was my wife's leg spread open."

"How is Santa like a paedophile? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks."

"Questions we just don't answer when kids ask: Where do babies come from? Is Santa real? What was Myspace?"

"I like my coffee, how I like my slaves. free"

"Why did the boy stop using his Sony, his Boombox, and his Bose Radio? He stopped believing in stereotypes."

"It's a shame Pacquiao is opposed to gay marriage. If they were married Mayweather would have boxed more aggressively."

"A new thought from Anton Belvedere Q: What did I say to Queen Amidala on Mardis Gras? A: Show me your Naboobs!"

"Did you here about the guy who had a wifi hotspot put in his foot? He wanted ""web""bed toes."