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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone with a spice garden on Gallifrey? A Thyme Lord."

"Mrs. Claus can't have kids Do you know why Mrs. Claus can't have kids? Because Santa only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney."

"What does a girl want more than anything in the world? Nothing. She's fine. Edit: Wow guys. Thanks so much for the upvotes, the hilarious comments and I finally got my 1st gold!"

"What do you call it when you cover your penis in postage stamps? Junk mail. (Credit to one if my FB friends)"

"What does your mom and my fantasy football team have in common? As soon as I put money on them, they suck."

"Why was Jared Fogle upset? Because he was sentenced to over 15 years in prison."

"What are swearing outdoor grills powered with? Profane tanks."

"Die Hard (1988) A shoeless New Yorker murders a bunch of people at his wife's office Christmas party."

"That awkward sexual tension when everyone leaves the kitchen and you're left all alone with a chocolate cake."

"Me: *singing ""Don't stop believing""* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit"