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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family."

"Have you ever seen Ray Charles's mansion? Neither has he."

"What's the difference between a Golden Chihuahua and a Golden Shower? You never have to pay before the dog'll pee on you."

"How do you find will smith in a snow storm?? Just look for the fresh prints. BOOOM!"

"BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?"

"So I was playing poker with a few lepers... when someone threw in a hand."

"In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated. The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible."

"As a professional standup comedian I never do self-derogatory jokes I keep my personal life away from my professional life."

"Mr Circle went to go see a doctor after being stabbed... The doctor said his blood loss was very sphere"

"Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not ""like Dan Aykroyd."""