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Joke of the Day

"BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?"

"I have been smoking weed for almost 13 years. Or about a baker's dozen."

"How many men from the US swim team does it take to open a door? Just one if its lochte'd"

"What do you get from pampering your cow? Spoiled milk."

"Talking on your cell during church isn't good, but if you use blue tooth hands free they just think you've got the spirit."

"The day Adele decides to crowd surf is the day we learn who her real fans are"

"Boss: Hey, you feel like working overtime? *Leaps into garbage compactor*"

"What did dick say to the condom? I'm going in cover me !"

"Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy? Because he ate five fruits a day!"

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"