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Joke of the Day

"Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that's why we're getting a divorce and marrying you instead."

"Life is like a box of chocolates.... It don't last too long for fat people."

"Why do they call it P.M.S.? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"ME: My name is Nigel and I'm an alcoholic. AA GROUP: Hi Nigel. *cut to confessional camera* ME: I'm here to WIN, not to make friends."

"Did you hear about the christian rapper who went missing? He never did turn up."

"I tell women I can't open that jar because I have a headache."

"When a husband asks you if you think it's possible to love someone forever... ""If I find the right person"" is apparently the wrong answer."

"Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him! baD-dumB-tssssJOKE"

"""Did you just fall?"" ""No. I attacked the floor."" ""Backwards?"" ""I'm freaking talented!"""

"Kidnapping is such a strong word. I prefer the term, ""surprise adoption""."