187699

Joke of the Day

"I just got home and found someone had stolen my bed! I walked in and it was gone. Honestly, i'm not lying"

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"""Dad I'm gay..."" ""Hi gay, I'm dad"""
"What did the duck say to the prostitute? Put it on my bill"
"You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand? LOL. Anyways, the baby's ok."
"""Hey, boo"" - a casual ghost"
"What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla? My zipper"
"Resumes are the most popular form of historical fiction."
".@rickygervais Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven."
"What's the best thing about being born on 9/11/99? You had the two biggest candles on your second birthday."
"Everyone is like happy 2016 and Apple is like: Happy 2015s!"