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Joke of the Day

"Found a site for hardcore Harambe Supporters It's called Omegle, Everyone has their dicks out for Harambe."

"Him: your account was stolen! Me: My twitter account? Him: no your bank account! *sigh* Me: thanks God!"

"What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies."

"Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It lifts their spirits."

"One does not know true happiness until he gets married But then it's too late... Source: I heard it in a PS2 Raw vs Smackdown game..."

"My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. It's quite rewarding working from home I tell ya"

"A young woman walks into a dry cleaner She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean. Hard of hearing the man asks, ""come again?"" She responds, ""No, it's yogurt"""

"Why does the Earth love geologists? They really get it's rocks off"

"So, I hear they're naming a new paint after you! It's called Whore Red. Not very Bright, but it's cheap and spreads really easily!!!"

"[looking at wife as firefighters cut me out of baby swing at playground] It doesn't say its specifically for babies, Karen"