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Joke of the Day

"What's the most influental animal rights philosopher? Karl Barx"

"What's the latest big thing to sweep across Japan? The ocean."

"Interview Employer: ""This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want! At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible."""

"Dad asks his kids what the third planet from the sun is called? Kids: - Earth! Dad: - Yeah, but it has another name. Kids: - Oh, dad. We don't know! Tell us! Dad: - Exactly! [drops mic]"

"Why did the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out."

"It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife."

"What did the P say to the R? ""Is that a strap-on?"""

"Why do airplanes have to go around the sweatpants factory? Because it's a NO FLY zone!"

"Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."

"I have trouble even monotasking."