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Joke of the Day

"I had to go get a mole removed today God knows how he got up there!"

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because it had nobody to go with."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat ? The wheelchair!"

"How I like my women I like my women like I like my scotch. Twelve years old and mixed up with coke."

"Policeman: What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour? Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident."

"If you're having reception problems with your phone... Just shove an antenna up a girl's ass, then yell at her face. Then you will officially have a receptionIST!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, ""We legally had to do this."""

"With all this media coverage about the clowns... I'll be so glad when the election is over."

"I tried to start a band called ""999 megs""! Never did get a gig :("

"What do you call it when someone resuscitates a person who chokes on alcohol? La chaim-lich maneuver."