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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat ? The wheelchair!"

"Once I got my art degree I didn't need to deliver to people anymore. Now they come to me, explaining what they want me to create. Then I ask them to pull up to the next window."

"Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to ""iron"" then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener."

"I just had a wicked threesome on the kitchen floor. Me, Nyquil and Vodka. I'll be walking funny tomorrow!"

"I found out that for months my kid has been throwing his poop at beehives. I sat him down and said, ""Son, it's time we talked about the turds and the bees."""

"Two fish are in a tank.... and one says to the other: ""You know how to drive this thing?"""

"Have you heard about that new therapy they're using in Japan? Soy lattes up the rectum. It's supposed to have amazing health benefits. Enemame."

"When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, ""I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"""

"My little Nephew told me this one. What do Trees and Dogs have in common? Bark."

"What do you call a female comedian? not funny"