227184

Joke of the Day

"Ah, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you know you have boobs, go get checked. You too ladies."

"I heard Tim Howard's daughters are all still virgins. Cause ain't no balls getting past him."

"I hope you don't take this joke literally but if you do, please return it later."

"My 5yr old eats chicken wings with the precision of a hitman cleaning his rifle."

"I'm so bored with life, I've decided to read the Oxford English Dictionary from start to finish. I'm past caring."

"What did the doe say when she came out of the woods? I'm never doing that for two bucks again!"

"If I had no emotions, I don't know how I'd feel about it."

"I just found out what ballerinas call their dresses. I just put two and two together."

"What sound does a fratboy make when he hits the water? DOUCHE"

"Jesus loves you. These are beautiful words to hear in a church, and absolutely horrifying ones to hear in a Mexican prison."