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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an angry psychologist? A thera-pissed."
Next Joke
"I realize I misspelled a word in my last Tweet. On that note I'm about to eat a Famous Anus cookie."
"Sometimes I drown cookies in milk in front of their family until they tell me the whereabouts of the Keebler Elves."
"What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays. I know, I know... even I'm ashamed of myself for posting this!"
"To Usain Bolt who stole my neon jacket You can run, but you can't hide"
"If there's one thing children have taught me it's how to count down from 5 while pretending there's a huge consequence if I ever reach zero."
"M.C. Escher was born on this day in 1898. Although if you study the timeline of his life, it also looks like he was born in 8681."
"A Physics Joke Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited."
"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."
"Does everyone have a weird Facebook acquaintance that comments on all their shit, or is it just me?"