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Joke of the Day

"Santa at an interview in an IT Company. Manager: Do you know MS Office? Santa: If you give me the address, I will go there sir."

"My doctor is so young that, when I need them, he just comes in the room shouting, ""Shots! Shots! Shots!"""

"""It's good but it's not right."" Roy Walker having sex with a corpse."

"Fellas, don't waste your time. Memorizing the lyrics to Gangnam Style hasn't gotten me laid once."

"I wonder how long it will be before ""You look like a million bucks"" is an insult. #inflation"

"I never thought that eating a bowl of Alphabet Soup could help me overcome constipation. But here I am, in the loo, having a massive vowel movement."

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times."

"If I had a dollar for every time a woman found me unattractive... They'd eventually find me attractive"

"You want to scare someone? Call them."

"This is how good my dog is, LOL. I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don't chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. Rodney Dangerfield"