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Joke of the Day

"I have a gardening tool that I use to dig up large amounts of treasure So yeah, I got a big booty hoe"

"What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position? Ability to work under pressure."

"Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth ;|"

"I saw a homeless man holding a sign. It said, ""2 will change my life."" Unfortunately, I only had a 5 note in my pocket."

"What is Polands national sport? Paintball"

"Why is it so tough to please girls? They take classes on mass debating."

"*Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman all avoiding eye contact with Aquaman as he walks in to work & sees Michael Phelps sitting at his desk*"

"My girlfriend is from another Nation. ImagiNATION"

"If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your ass."

"50 shades of grey After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed. ""Now what?"" I asked. ""Hurt me!"" ""Ok. You have saggy tits"""