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Joke of the Day

"Why is North Korea horrible? Because they have no Seoul."

"What's the difference between a woman and bacon....? You can't beat bacon....!"

"Change is inevitable... Unless you go to a vending machine."

"A girl from the recruitment agency called. She said, ""Sir, I have three openings for you."" I said, ""I know."" She hung up."

"Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people."

"What's the similarity between women and dogshit? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"*sees baby* *feels sad that my kids aren't babies anymore* *sees look of exhausted despair in baby's parents eyes* *sadness evaporates*"

"The man who discovered copper died penniless."

"God, designing a toddler: ya know what would be hilarious would be if it has no ability to reason but talks nonstop. Also make it trip a lot"