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Joke of the Day

"a spider dropped onto me this morning and I was just really excited that someone else was in bed with me"

"What happens when the PS and XBOX servers go down? The ambulance comes lights and sirens, ""WII-U WII-U WII-U"" I'm sorry, I'll leave now ._."

"I have the attention span of a... Have I ever told you how much I like porn?"

"Sup girl, I hear u like bad boys *I open the wrong side of juice carton* *evil spirit flies out* Oh, so that's why they say don't do that"

"I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said ""open cap and push up bottom"". Now I can't walk but my farts smell awesome."

"What is the KKK's favorite dessert? A Klandike bar"

"If Clinton is elected president... It will be the first time two presidents slept with each other..."

"You know why it's called PMS? ...there's already something called Mad Cow Disease."

"My wife is paralysed from the waist down Insensitive cunt."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Alickalotapuss"