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Joke of the Day

"my son just asked me where do pizzas come from adn has yet to ask me where do babeys come from. thats my boy"

"What does the daddy gun have when he becomes a father? A bb gun."

"Me: I'm updating my fitness app. Is bowling a sport? Him: You didn't bowl. You kept score. Me: Is score-keeping for bowling a sport?"

"If you skip church on Sundays.. You're pulling a Christian Bale."

"Please stop calling it ""Black Friday"" That's offensive. It's ""African American Day Before Saturday"""

"Why do Eyeballs Make Great Comedians? Because they are filled with vitreous humor!"

"What does a fastidious female call a condom? Goo-be-gone"

"if a bee sting u, u get a lil pain but the bee dies so who really wins? ""lol im OWNING all these bees"" i say as i put my face in the beehive"

"3 (calls out): daddy I'm cleaning the floor with a mob. Me: you mean a mop? (enters to see 100 people licking the floor) no ok that's a mob"

"Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll."